


Cringe

by AnnaKnimos



Category: The Resident (2011)
Genre: Angst, F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:40:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25267747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaKnimos/pseuds/AnnaKnimos
Summary: Max has an addiction.
Relationships: Max (The Resident)/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Cringe

**Author's Note:**

> Song fic based on Matt Maeson's Cringe.   
> I recently saw this movie and was immediately conflicted. I felt so sorry for Max, but then they made him into this giant creep. I still love the character though and while listening to this song, I thought of him. This one is dedicated to the creepy Max the movie made. One dedicated to the part of him I wish they fleshed out more who deserved way better would be coming soon. If anyone even manages to read this, thank you haha.

_Lover, come over, look what I've done_  
_I've been alone so long, I feel like I'm on the run_  
_Lover, come over, kick up the dust_  
_I've got a secret starting to rus_ t

-

"Hello?" You muttered into your cellphone as you fell back into the mattress, relishing in the comfort of the cool sheets. You hadn't bothered to look at who was calling. You just knew that if someone was calling at the ungodly hour of 2 in the morning, it had to be important, and if it wasn't well, they wouldn't live to see another day.

"Y/n..." Max groaned on the other line, head in his hands as he fought to remove the images of his tenant from his mind. The gentle curve of her supple breasts, the strained gasps as she pleasured herself..it wasn't right.

"Max? What's wrong?" You sat up and turned on the bedside lamp, casting the room in a yellow glow. You furrowed your brows in worry as you waited for him to explain. 

"I did it again..." 

You knew exactly what he meant. When you found out about his little "hobby" you'd given him an ultimatum. He had to stop or he would never see you again. It was like a disease. The man you fell in love with was deteriorating from the inside, consumed by the secrets between the walls he built.

You'd come across the passageways by accident. You didn't know why he was so adamant on keeping you away from where he called home, but when he finally agreed to take you back to his apartment you didn't wait before planting your lips on his as soon as he closed the door behind him. He kissed you back with as much fervour and passion as you had mustered, hands exploring your waist and pressing you against his broad chest. He'd pushed you into his bedroom wall with a little too much force and sent you barreling through loose drywall and into the passageways that connected the apartments. 

You'd seen the cracks that gave him full view of the woman living in the apartment next to his. You didn't give him a chance to explain though, grabbing your purse and running from the man that stole your heart.

He called you the next day begging you to give him a chance, and you did. You heard him out. He promised to do whatever it took, and you thought he would. But then it happened again, and again and again until it became like a ritual. He'd call, he'd beg, he'd apologize and you would run back to him every time. 

"I need to see you..." he was desperate. He wouldn't hide that. Wouldn't pretend that he didn't need you.

"Max, I can't. You promised-"

"Please _...please_ , Y/n." He sounded so broken pleading with you on the other line, and your dug the heel of your palm into your forehead knowing that no matter what you said, you would end up at his doorstep anyway ready to hold him in your arms and silence his fears.

"I'll be right there."

-

_She said I'm looking like a bad man, smooth criminal_  
_She said my spirit doesn't move like it did before_  
_She said that I don't look like me no more, no more_  
_I said, "I'm just tired," she said, "You're just high"_  
_And I said, "I saw you in the water"_  
_And I said, "I saw you in the water"_

_-_

"Max, you have to stop. It's not okay, you know it's not okay."

Max cradled his head into your chest on his couch, rubbing his finger along your arm softly. Having you here with him, so present and so personal...he wanted that- no he needed that all the time. He needed you all the time. He'd begged you to move in with him 2 months in, but you said it was too early for that. You were comfortable in your own space for now and while he understood, he knew that if he didn't have you with him, the light you cast upon his dark shadows, he would fall back into old habits. As it was, it wasn't enough. He was tired of being on his own in that apartment.

"You don't understand...I can't get her out of my mind I just...you know what it's like for me in there, you know August. Whenever he gets in my head I just...I can't help it."

"You can't keep making excuses like this. You have to take some responsibility, Max." He shook his head and stood out of your touch, pacing the floor slowly and rubbing his stubbled chin.

"And what about you?"

"What about me?" 

"You can't tell me you're not to blame. I told you how much I needed you here, how much I fall whenever you're not around."

"Are you serious?" You were standing now, eyes full of anger and hands clenched into fists.

"Max, do not put this on me. I have _nothing_ to do with this."

"Y/n, I asked you, _begged_ you to come live with me and you said no. Not having you here is part of the reason I do it!"

A humorless laugh escaped your lips. "Really? This again? We haven't even been dating a year and you want me to move in with you..."

"If you really loved me you would." 

"I can't believe you just said that. You think I don't love you? You ever consider how I feel when you're staring at her through the walls? Huh?"

He sighed and closed his eyes.

"All I do is look, Y/n...I've never touched her or-"

"That doesn't matter. It feels...I feel like I'm not enough for you."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could you think that? The whole reason he fell back into his walls was because you were exactly enough. The time spent with you wasn't but that wasn't his fault.

"Y/n, you're the only one I want that's the whole point of me wanting to live with you!"

"No! No you want me to live with you because you're _weak_ and you have no control over your life." It hurt you to say it, and the broken look on his face made you regret your words, no matter how true they were. 

"I'm not going to let you use me as some kind of... _cure_ for your problems, Max. It doesn't work that way. _You_ have to fix this. You need to stop and take a long look at yourself and realise that you need help. I...I just can't do it anymore."

"Please...I _need_ you, Y/n....you see the real me, you can help me get there, please." Max frowned on the verge of tears, knowing how much you grounded him. You were the only good thing in his life. He needed you to keep the dark away. If you left...he didn't know what he would do.

"You're not the guy I thought I fell in love with. This...this thing that you can't give up...it's always been there...Even when we met...when you told me you loved me...I can't compete with that...I won't. 

"I..." he was at a loss for words. You were right. His obsession had started way before he met you, and it hadn't stopped. He tried, God he tried when you'd told him to choose between you and his walls...but he couldn't stop. It was an itch that needed to be scratched. Having that ability to see into someone else's life down to every dirty and nasty detail gave him the control he never had. He was desperately grasping at every bit he could get and he could never have enough. 

You shook your head and picked up your purse, crossing the living room to his door. He let you leave.

He slumped onto the couch and tilted his head back. Eyes tracing the patterns in the ceiling thinking back before all of this. He never planned on meeting you, but when he laid eyes on you at the hardware store behind the counter, ringing up customers with a huge smile and bright eyes, he'd almost forgotten about the woman in the apartment next to his. You'd smiled at him and time slowed as you asked him what he was working on.

"Just a little project," he'd said, and when your fingers touched as you passed him his change, he knew he had to go back.

On his fourth trip, he'd asked you to dinner. You said yes. He couldn't take his eyes off of you for the whole night, the soft, smooth skin of your chest, the curve of your hip, the light in your eyes...and so he'd kissed you. Softly, sweetly.

The three words came 3 months after that, whispered as he rolled his hips into yours, eyes locked on your beautiful contorted face as he filled you over and over again, pushing you to the edge of bliss as you moaned his name and he whispered yours like a prayer as he held onto you desperately, dissolving into completel bliss with only you keeping him tethered to the here and now. 

He couldn't give you up. He didn't want to. But at the same time, he couldn't give up his habit. But as he sat there remembering your bright smile, he promised he would do whatever it takes to keep you in his life. 

-

_Lover, come hold me, head's on the fritz_  
_Gaudy intoxicated feelings comfortably mixed_  
_Lover, come hold me, could you forget?_  
_I've got a secret, digging a ditch_

_-_

A week...a week and he'd filled your mailbox with cries of agony, begging you to see him. Your tear stained pillow lay just where you threw it across the room as your body racked with sobs.

"I love you.. _please._..I love you so much. I need to see you..." you closed your eyes as his pained voice sounded through your phone. 

You'd spent months convincing him that he wasn't all the horrible things his grandfather said he was. He wasn't a monster, he wasn't some grotesque creation that didn't deserve the air he breathed. He was kind, gentle, protective. He was yours and you were his. He was everything you'd ever wanted in a man, and you'd fallen hard. But he'd hidden a huge part of him from you for so long, and when it finally came out did he just expect you to be okay with it? It felt like ne was cheating on you, dividing his time between you and someone else. You wanted to tell the other woman in his life what he was doing. You wanted to tell her that she was unwittingly part of some sick fantasy that he built up in his head, but he'd done a great job of convincing you he was better and even though you tried to get him to confess his sins, own up to what he's done time and time again, he would always find some way to quell your worries, your pleas. You remember how dirty you felt every time he touched you when the secret came out. How it made you shudder. You couldn't put up with it anymore.

You couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he'd just told you from the start. Would you stay? Would you look past the dark secret he kept? Could you look past it? He had your heart, every inch of the bleeding organ belonged to him. He'd possessed every bit of your soul and caressed it quickly, so softly that you had no choice but to completely surrender. You couldn't imagine what it would be like if you hadn't met him, but it didn't stop you from wishing you hadn't.

As your phone buzzed, you willed yourself not to look at the tenth text of the night, but your eyes fought against your will, falling on the desperate words on the screen.

-Sweetheart, I'm so sorry

-I love you so f*cking much..

-You know she doesn't mean anything to me

-You're the only one I want

You tossed your phone aside and lay down, hoping that sleep would take over soon and you wouldn't have to see the images of the man that held your heart captive in your dreams.

-

_She said I'm looking like a bad man, smooth criminal_  
_She said my spirit doesn't move like it did before_  
_She said that I don't look like me no more, no more_  
_I said, "I'm just tired," she said, "You're just high"_  
_And I said, "I saw you in the water"_  
_And I said, "I saw you in the water"_

_-_

"Max what are you doing here." You looked around the grocery store, hoping there was no one around to hear the words shared between the two of you.

"You weren't answering my calls or my texts I...I was worried about you."

The bags under your eyes matched his own and he knew you hadn't been sleeping. Why couldn't you see that you were meant for him, you fit with him so perfectly. He needed you like he needed air. That night when he poured himself into you, that was the beginning of what he thought would be forever, the way you gripped his hair, the way your fingernails dug into his back. You felt so good under him, a writhing and beautiful mess. He took you again and again that night and every night after that. His love was tipping over, falling off the edge and grasping him with its tendrils, keeping him suspended before the inevitable fall. He needed you to forgive him, he needed you to see how much you meant to him.

"Are you following me?"

He didn't answer. He looked down at his feet, fiddling with his hands as he thought of what he could say that wouldn't upset you. When you hadn't made any contact with him, he couldn't take it. He waited outside of your building, anticipating the moment you would come out. He hadn't see you in a whole week, and he didn't care what it meant. He had to. He'd followed you to the hardware store, hanging around the back aisles and taking long glances at you when you weren't looking. He'd followed you to the bank, keeping his head low as you spoke to the teller, staring at the smile you plastered on your face for the world and relishing in the fact that you kept your real smile for him. The big and beautiful one. Every time you left the safety of your home, he traced your footsteps, watching over you like he should be. When he made the first move, he promised to keep you separate from the other part of his life. You were too precious to be sullied by his secrets. But yourforced his hand, and it was up to you on whether he would have to watch you from the shadows, or join you again in the light.

"You are aren't you?" You gripper the handle on the cart harder, finding some release in the motion. 

"You don't understand. What am I supposed to do when you-"

"You're supposed to respect my choice, Max. I _don't_ want to see you anymore. Do you hear me? I don't love you anymore. Just leave me alone."

You pushed last him before the tears could fall and he could see how much it broke you to say it. He knew you were lying. You still cared for him, you still wanted him...and he would have you either way. 

-

_Sweating all your sins out_  
_Putting all your thoughts back together_  
_Oh, we just don't blend now_  
_All of my attempts seem to weather_  
_Oh, I make you cringe now_  
_Don't I make you cringe?_  
_Oh, I make you cringe now_  
_Don't I make you cringe?_

_-_

Your eyes hurt. You tried to blink away the strain but the splitting ache suddenly ripping through your head made you wince in agony. You moved to hold your temple, but your hands wouldn't budge. You pulled and pulled but they were compromised. You looked to your left and to your right. Both your hands were tied to the posts on the headboard of whatever bed you were laying on. It was dark. It was so dark that couldn't make out the figure in the corner of the room, watching you. You tried to scream, whine, something, but your voice was muffled by the gag snug against your teeth, splitting your lips open.

"You're awake."

Your eyes fell on him. A dark mass of everything you'd come to fear looming over you. You pulled on the restraints, hoping that by some miracle they would come loose.

"Shhh..it's gonna be ok...I'm here." His calloused hands held your face as he rested his forehead on top of yours, sighing.

"When I take it off...don't scream. I don't want to hurt you." You nodded ferociously, complying with whatever he wanted. 

He removed the gag and you gasped, trying to swallow all the oxygen you could as the feeling of suffocation slowly left you.

"Max..." 

"I know...I know trust me. I love you so much..."

He kissed you and you shuddered.

His hand grasped your thigh, squeezing the flesh as you whimpered beneath him.

"God I missed you..."

His lips found your neck, running a trail of cold kisses down to your chest where your tears ran, pooling at the valley of your breasts, your shirt clinging to your skin. 

"I wanted to give you chance to apologise. I know you didn't mean what you said. You need me as much as I need you. You can't deny it."

"Why don't you let me go, huh? Untie me and we'll talk-"

"We've done enough talking. All you need to do is say you're sorry. That's it."

Your lips trembled as he peered into your eyes, willing you to utter the two words. If it meant he would untie you, you would say it.

"I'm sorry....okay? I still love you, Max. I'll always love you." And you did. You still loved him. Part of you would always be reserved for him. For the man he was, the man he wanted to be. 

"Good." He kissed you slowly and pressed his forehead against yours.

"I'm so happy to hear you finally admit it...I really didn't want to hurt you. Now we can be together like we were meant to be." 

You nodded, desperate to be free of the restraints holding you captive to his bed, tears stil falling at him confessing that he thought about harming you if you hadn't said those words.

"We can, Max. Just...just untie me and we'll go for a walk, maybe get something to eat-"

"I'm not letting you go."

Your breath hitched, locking in your throat and choking your words.

Your eyes, full of fear and pain met his. There was only darkness and the small sense of relief you felt suddenly melted away.

"You're- you're not going to untie me? How else would I get home and...and-" you knew it was desperate and pointless, and when he cut you off you tried to blink it all away like some awful dream.

"You _are_ home, Y/n. You're never leaving me again. I'll never let you go again."

As he caressed your cheek and ran his hand along your thigh, you shuddered. When his fingers lost themselves in your hair and ran down your scalp you shivered. And when he placed his lips on your mouth roughly and turned those once warm, brown eyes onto yours, revealing the pitch black that was always there, you cringed. 

-

_She said I'm looking like a bad man, smooth criminal_  
_She said my spirit doesn't move like it did before_  
_She said that I don't look like me no more, no more_  
_I said, "I'm just tired"_  
_She said I'm looking like a bad man, smooth criminal_  
_She said my spirit doesn't move like it did before_  
_She said that I don't look like me no more, no more_  
_I said, "I'm just tired," she said, "You're just high"_  
_And I said, "I saw you in the water" (Do I make you cringe?)_


End file.
